I was burying the void I already felt through anticipation, a void Janet's absence was going to leave in my life; a void that I experienced before and was still fresh in my mind. A void that was only going to get bigger and harder to manage when Janet actually left the Island.
Although Janet and her family were looking forward to this opportunity for many years, when reality of the situation hit Janet, she found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. Janet wanted to leave St. Vincent and the Grenadines to go to America, but not at the sacrifice of leaving me behind. Slowly, Janet's excitement about going to America began to fade.
Now leaving her home land was becoming increasingly difficult. Because she was forced to leave her love behind. At this stage, this was out of Janet's control; the decisions had already been made for her, and there was nothing, either of us, could have done about it.
When the news of Janet's soon migration became public, I began to get lots of messages from other girls; girls declaring their love for me. I did not know these girls. It seems like being with Janet, enhanced my dating value. Girls from the Girls High School, Bishop College, etc wanted to date me and they were not shy about it.
One Sunday evening, I agreed to meet with a girl from the Girls High School at the old public library. Back then and at our age; a Sunday evening stroll with a girl, had great significant. It was like a declaration of a relationship of some kind.
Janet got word of my Sunday evening meeting with the girl, and became very emotional, and she cried all night, she was even unable to attend school the next day; the overwhelming feeling of my betrayal broke Janet's heart. The next day Kathy Janet's Cousin came looking for me, to find out what was happening. She told me how much Janet was hurt by my actions, that she cried all night into the morning.
The news of how my actions hurt Janet, the only one I loved; broke my heart. My juvenile behavior, led me to hurt the only woman, I ever loved no strings attached. I was unable to undo the damages my silly decision caused. After some intense work by Kathy on my behalf, Janet decided to see me.
When Janet and I met although the beautiful lass tried to hide her pain, the hurt she felt; it was obvious; she was pretending to be ok, but it was clear, she really was not. Janet wanted to know if I loved the girl, whom she knew and if we were in a relationship. Obviously, I didn't love this girl, I just wanted to meet the person who were persistently, sending me these messages. I reassured Janet I truly love no other but her, and I pledge not to called, see or speak to that girl again. and I kept my word for more than 20 years after I vowed.
Janet later left St. Vincent and the Grenadine, and for more than 10 years I stayed out of relationships. I tried dating, a few times after Janet had left the Island, but I honestly did not have any desire to be with anyone but Janet. Needless to say. My only hope was to be reunited with the love of my life: Janet Reno. Which seems like an impossibility.
When Janet left St.Vincent and the Grenadines I had to find a way to deal with my lost, at least, now I was fourteen almost fifteen years old, seven years removed from the death of my mother. I was not the nievie, helpless seven year old who was unable to cope with his mother's death. I had learned some coping skills along the way. As a result, Roller Skating became my relief.
I drenched my lost and my loneliness in exhaustion; each day I buried the pain of love lost in exhaustion. Roller Skating offered me a two fold therapy. It brought back fun memories of Roller Skating with Janet, of me teaching her how to skate, of when she fell when I was unable, to help her maintain her balance, as I promised I would be able to.
On this occasion, Janet hit her bum so hard, it should have induced immediate tears; especially in a girl. However, with dignity of a princess and the class of a cultured lady, Janet kept her composure, excused herself taking Kathy with her, they both went behind the Grammar School Annex where Janet cried, away from the prying eyes of those present. Then Janet returned, only after she had composed herself.
Secondly Roller Skating helped me to become to tired, to think about my lost. When I missed Janet, my skating sessions because very intense. I roller skates every day for ten years, I did not missing one single day. Hence The reason, I was able to skate a marathon without training, with very little ease. When I lost Janet, Roller Skating became my therapy, and I had the responsibility of treating myself.
I know the question on your mind is: did did Janet departure cause Allan to returned to the state of helplessness he explained when his mother die?
With just two words describe my betrayal of Janet without using the word betrayal or any of its related part of speech.
Although Janet and her family were looking forward to this opportunity for many years, when reality of the situation hit Janet, she found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. Janet wanted to leave St. Vincent and the Grenadines to go to America, but not at the sacrifice of leaving me behind. Slowly, Janet's excitement about going to America began to fade.
Now leaving her home land was becoming increasingly difficult. Because she was forced to leave her love behind. At this stage, this was out of Janet's control; the decisions had already been made for her, and there was nothing, either of us, could have done about it.
When the news of Janet's soon migration became public, I began to get lots of messages from other girls; girls declaring their love for me. I did not know these girls. It seems like being with Janet, enhanced my dating value. Girls from the Girls High School, Bishop College, etc wanted to date me and they were not shy about it.
One Sunday evening, I agreed to meet with a girl from the Girls High School at the old public library. Back then and at our age; a Sunday evening stroll with a girl, had great significant. It was like a declaration of a relationship of some kind.
Janet got word of my Sunday evening meeting with the girl, and became very emotional, and she cried all night, she was even unable to attend school the next day; the overwhelming feeling of my betrayal broke Janet's heart. The next day Kathy Janet's Cousin came looking for me, to find out what was happening. She told me how much Janet was hurt by my actions, that she cried all night into the morning.
The news of how my actions hurt Janet, the only one I loved; broke my heart. My juvenile behavior, led me to hurt the only woman, I ever loved no strings attached. I was unable to undo the damages my silly decision caused. After some intense work by Kathy on my behalf, Janet decided to see me.
When Janet and I met although the beautiful lass tried to hide her pain, the hurt she felt; it was obvious; she was pretending to be ok, but it was clear, she really was not. Janet wanted to know if I loved the girl, whom she knew and if we were in a relationship. Obviously, I didn't love this girl, I just wanted to meet the person who were persistently, sending me these messages. I reassured Janet I truly love no other but her, and I pledge not to called, see or speak to that girl again. and I kept my word for more than 20 years after I vowed.
Janet later left St. Vincent and the Grenadine, and for more than 10 years I stayed out of relationships. I tried dating, a few times after Janet had left the Island, but I honestly did not have any desire to be with anyone but Janet. Needless to say. My only hope was to be reunited with the love of my life: Janet Reno. Which seems like an impossibility.
When Janet left St.Vincent and the Grenadines I had to find a way to deal with my lost, at least, now I was fourteen almost fifteen years old, seven years removed from the death of my mother. I was not the nievie, helpless seven year old who was unable to cope with his mother's death. I had learned some coping skills along the way. As a result, Roller Skating became my relief.
I drenched my lost and my loneliness in exhaustion; each day I buried the pain of love lost in exhaustion. Roller Skating offered me a two fold therapy. It brought back fun memories of Roller Skating with Janet, of me teaching her how to skate, of when she fell when I was unable, to help her maintain her balance, as I promised I would be able to.
On this occasion, Janet hit her bum so hard, it should have induced immediate tears; especially in a girl. However, with dignity of a princess and the class of a cultured lady, Janet kept her composure, excused herself taking Kathy with her, they both went behind the Grammar School Annex where Janet cried, away from the prying eyes of those present. Then Janet returned, only after she had composed herself.
Secondly Roller Skating helped me to become to tired, to think about my lost. When I missed Janet, my skating sessions because very intense. I roller skates every day for ten years, I did not missing one single day. Hence The reason, I was able to skate a marathon without training, with very little ease. When I lost Janet, Roller Skating became my therapy, and I had the responsibility of treating myself.
I know the question on your mind is: did did Janet departure cause Allan to returned to the state of helplessness he explained when his mother die?
With just two words describe my betrayal of Janet without using the word betrayal or any of its related part of speech.
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