In my mind, I was doing quite well without Janet, yes I missed her a lot, but nothing else have changed. I was the same Allan, at least that was what I thought. However, my father knew I was missing Janet, I often wondered, how did Daddy got to know Janet and who she was; that unexplained phenomenon, is still a mystery to me.
When we consider, my father literally, spent all day in his shop, he woke up every morning about 3:00 AM, like I now do, but to prayer; My father took a shower, then he took an early morning walk around the town, to see if there were any new developments. There were no way my father, could have known about Janet; but he knew her. He also realized, I began to show signs of a slow social decline, which was reminiscent of what happened seven years earlier.
When Janet and her mom, left St. Vincent for the USA, I was sad, However, I did not believe Janet had gotten over my betrayal of her, our love and our relationship. I would have still been livid over the events, If the shoes were on the other foot. Therefore, Janet had all right to be upset, I was not thoughtful enough to have think ahead to see, how my seemingly harmless, actions would have been perceived by others, how Janet would have felt when she found out, and how my selfish, immature actions were going to affect my relationship with Janet.
Janet left St. Vincent and the Grenadines at the age of fourteen, and I did not here from her. The phone did not ring, the post man did not deliver a letter addressed to me, not a Hall Mark card, not even a view card. When I come into contact with our friends, and they asked me how Janet was doing, I embarrassingly told them I don't know, I have not heard from her. I honestly, could not lie; not even to save face. Most expressed surprised, they could not believed, Janet would have abandoned me like that.
I would have given anything, to be an artery on the walls of their mind, to hear what thought came to their mind when they discovered, Janet have abandoned me. I could imagine some of them may have said, I knew she would have turn her back on him, when she got out of St. Vincent and other similar thoughts. I could not understand why and how Janet could have abandoned me like that after what we had. I thought it was true love, I guess, I was fooled, could it have been I was the only one who truly loved.
One day my Father who was an expert on all things Allan, called me and handed me a letter. Daddy did not send this letter upstairs with the other mails for that day for whatever reason, he kept this letter in his possession, in the shop. Maybe, its just a mail that got left behind that I should deliver to probably my sister Clare.
I read the back of the letter to see who it was addressed to, so I can ensure they got their correspondence. However, the letter was addressed to Allan Palmer, but who could it be from. I did not pay attention to the hand writing, then I saw the name Janet Reno. I did not remember to tell my dear father thanks. I immediately, became excited, I ran out of the shop and upstairs.
Daddy knew everything about me, he had his way of finding out thing, that I did not understood. He must have known when I met Janet, it would have been obvious, my father of all people would have noticed, that I no longer walked around lost, and hopeless, like my world had fell apart, and my world did fall apart; to a vast and positive change, in my attitude, demeanor, my behavior, my general out look on life.
My father of all people would have noticed and he would have done all in his power, to find out what was responsible for this overwhelming change in my life. Daddy would have been the first to recognize that I was slowly, slipping back into the low key, sad, drifting individual; I was before I met Janet. My father knew who Janet was, and he knew how she impacted my life. how did he know, I don't know or understand.
My reaction, when, I received Janet's letter, would have alerted my father of what was responsible for my sudden social and psychological decline. When I arrived upstairs, I put the letter, on the center table, in the living room. I took a shower, got out the iron and the ironing board, I got a fresh change of clothes, I took my time and I ironed or pressed my clothes; something I rearly ever did. When I was finished ironing, all fresh, out of my school uniform and nicely dressed, I sat before the table, upon which the Royal proclamation, A proclamation from Princess Janet sat, waiting to be read. Now I was ready to read the letter.
This was not Just any letter, this was a special letter, the reading of this letter was a special occasion, it was an event. After all it took Janet four months to write this letter, it was a very long wait. In the envelope, there were two pages of beautifully hand-written sentiments and a photo of the most beautiful female I have ever seen; of course, it was a photo of Janet. This letter marked, the beginning of about 19 years of communication, with the woman I loved, reestablishing a long relationship, through the exchange of letter between Janet and I, and many phone calls.
I tried dating, but it did not work out. I did not want to be with anyone else. After about eight years of undeceive waiting. I suggested to Janet, it might be better if we moved on with our lives. Janet wanted to know if I had found someone. But I did not. I suggested we moved on, because, we experienced a stalemate. Janet had decided, she was not returning to SVG, until she have achieved what she wanted in life, and she suggested that I joined her in the USA. she had a beautiful plan all laid out. However, I did not want to go to the USA.
Some time after, we reluctantly decided, we will move on with our lives without the other, I began dating a beautiful young lady. Now I was over Janet at least that was what I thought. My new friend came to my home and the first thing that caught her eyes was a shrine, that paid homage to a beautiful young lady.
This shrine consisted of all of the photographer Janet had sent to me over the years; neatly taking up a prominent place in the living room. When my friend asked me who the girl was. Apparently, I became different person, a person she had never seen before. When I told her who Janet was: immediately, she knew she could not complete with Janet for my affection, but she was willing to try. Apparently when I spoke of Janet, my upper lip, flapped up and covered the entire upper portion of me face and my bottom lip double under my chin with glee.
My new girlfriend said to me; "Allan you are not yet over that girl; you still love her." Refusing to face the reality; I told my girlfriend: yes I love her, but not in the manner you think. My highly intelligent friend said, to me. When you speak about Janet, you transformed into a completely different person. You get all excited, you become happy, your whole personality and physical appearance changed.
Once my girlfriend, rationally said to me, Allan if you are dating someone, and they come to your home and see your photos of Janet, in such a prominent place in the living room, they may get the wrong impression. Then she suggested; it would be better if you put the photos of Janet in your bed room. They are sending the wrong message hanging in such a prominent place in the living room. For no justifiable reason, I got up set and I let my friend know right there and then: those photographer are staying right where I put them, right there is where I need them.
Some months later, I visited my friend at her home, upon seeing me, she immediately, and searchingly asked, you got a letter from Janet? I was amazed how did she knew. Does my girlfriend have a spy in my house. I wanted to find out. So I asked my girlfriend, how did you know that. She looked at me, a little jealous and said, because each time Janet write you, and you visit me, your hair is comb, your clothes are always well pressed, and you are always happy.
I was not aware of this, this was a new revaluation to me. I doubted my friend, then she said take a look, your hair is nicely combed, your clothes are nicely pressed, then she asked, Allan tell me, when was the last time you ironed your clothes before today. I honestly couldn't remember, it was just a coincidence. Then she said the last time you ironed your clothes to visit me was the last time you received a letter from Janet.
My friend was not upset or angry, but she hoped that soon, I will eventually loved her and get all excited about her in the same way I did Janet. I had to agree, my girlfriend was right all along. I took more pride in my appearance, when I heard from Janet, am I still truly in love with the daughter of Ms. Reno? I said no; but it seems like my actions and behavior told everyone around me something else.
Time passed by, and prior to May of 2003, Janet and I had truly moved on with our lives, not quite. We still kept in touch, we kept each other up dated about each other's life. I guess secretly we wanted to ensure the other were not happy without the other. Janet became a nurse and I became a police officer. For a brief moment we both became to busy with our lives, to communicate with each other.
After a two years period, without communicating with each other; in the Summer of 2005, Janet called my homestead; however, she became very disappointed, I was not there to receive her call, Clare, detected the disappointment in Janet's voice, Clare also knew how I felt about Janet, told her, Allan will be happy to hear from you, and Clare give Janet my Bermuda number.
When Janet called, I was over joyed to hear from her. I was single and Janet was single, her vacation was coming up, I suggested that she come to Bermuda. However, our vacation date clashed; we were going on vacation a day apart, so we decided after twenty years apart, we have to make some arrangements to vacation together.
The date was set, it was the summer of 2005, the plan were in placed, tickets were purchased, there were no turning back now. Finally, after twenty years apart, we were going to meet each other, once again for the first time. No more letters, no more long chats on the phone. I am going to see the sweetest, most adorable, most beautiful women to have ever graced the earth in the flesh. The woman who was used by God to bring me healing some twenty years ago.
