Before Janet came into my life, the beauty of life was disfigured, the happy childhood I once knew, simply pick up and left, and my life became like a beautiful piece of art, that was created by a master artist, on black background, the artist, who employed all of his skills and talent, but he used only black paint in his masterful creation. The darkness I experienced, was resulted from the death of my mother, when I was seven years old; and the darkness persisted until Janet came along.
With Janet in my life, the Joy, I once knew and longed for returned, and the black paint that was skillfully laid onto the black background, had miraculously transformed into many beautiful colors. For the first time in many years I felt special again.
Outside of school, the time I spent with Janet was scarce, except for the two or so hours she were allowed out with her cousin Kathy to Roller Skate. Janet and I was still high on the Georgetown experience. I could still feel Janet's warm, soft hands, gently resting in my hands, as I held her hands on our adventure, while we explored Georgetown.
Fresh in my head, I still heard the combined sounds of the whistling wind, which blew across the ocean and along the beach rustling the leaves of the trees and shrubs that spend their days looking out at the sea; the sound of giant waves, that collided with the shoreline, then vigorously rushed over the sparkling black sand that stretched about fifty meters to the shrubbery of the beach.
The harmonious whistles of the various birds that found security in the solitude of the trees, in which they made their homes; trees that beautified the beach and the loud innocent laughter of four teenagers, who found amusement as they celebrated their accomplishments of avoiding the sea water as they ran away from the fast moving waves that covered the shore.
My memory replayed all these sounds, like they had passed through a mixing board, properly sync and well mastered. They were music that found a new and cherished home, in archives of my recent memories.
My relationship with Janet grew with each passing day, things only got better and better. I was so high on love, I could no longer see Cloud Nine; even my fear of the dark got lost in all the excitement that love generated. If this is what love is and felt like, I am requesting double portion; I did not want it to stop or to change because I loved it.
One day, when Janet and I met, I noticed Janet was very happy and excited; she could hardly contain her joy. She said to me Allan, I have some good news. This news, was big news for Janet's family; Janet's mother: Grace, her Aunties June, Merle and Kay as well as all of her cousin, were all happy. I did not know what had happened or what the news was; but I was happy just to see Janet, with an addition glimmer of happiness. Janet deserved all the Joy that came her way. When Janet was happy; I was happy.
Then Janet shared the good news with me. Excitedly, she said "Allan, my papers to go to America came through." Janet Grandmother lived in the USA, and it was alway her desire, to send for her children, and her Grand children to join her in the good old USA. Janet, her mom Grace, her aunt June and June's children, were all expected to travel to the USA within six months. While I celebrated with Janet, the essence of her good news hit me like a fast moving brick; shattering my reality. Immediately, my heart sank within me. This good news, was not good news at all, at least not for me.
Just when, I got the opportunity to experienced some happiness, this happiness is going to be taken away from me, again. There were still a few months at best before Janet leave for the USA, but it felt like she was leaving tomorrow. I was not alone, for my friend Sean who was dating Janet cousin: Kathy, had to come to terms with Kathy's good news, Sean bad news; news of Kathy's soon migration.
I felt lost, and I felt betrayed, I did not know what to do. I wanted Janet to be happy even if her happiness did not include me. Janet had became an intrigual part of my life; a part of my life, I did not want to lose, not even to migration. I am not a selfish person, but it was impossible; not to think, of how this new development, was going to affect me and my life. I loved and respect Janet tremendously, she was the feathers in my wings that gave me the ability to fly; feathers I needed to stay elevated and glide on the wind.
The only thing that brought me relaxation, was roller skating. This news, made me uneasy, and only alerted me, of how vulnerable I really was. My conference, was hinged on a person over whom, I had absolutely, no controlled. I went home I put on my roller skates and I skated for about six hours trying to drown the pain and the lost I felt in exhaustion.
I was burying the void I already felt through anticipation, a void Janet's absence was going to leave in my life; a void that I experienced before and was still fresh in my mind. A void that was only going to get bigger and harder to manage when Janet actually left the Island.
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